Step 2: Planning ahead/ Dealing with a broken heart

So, day two... The list was super and today I ended up just singing around and having happy thoughts, being with my family and enjoying myself, was a hell of a good day, and even now that I spoke with certain people I'm feeling good. I came to the conclusion that it is because I feel relaxed because I said everything that I needed to say to the person I wanted to say it. Literally is like all the weight that was in my shoulders were in the ground now and I set it on fire. I feel really good with myself and everything right now, and I hope this feeling last for more than just today. So anyways, I gave a thought to what step 2 should be and I really think I find the perfect thing to do.

Planning ahead. Like think about it, when you are planning to do amazing things you've always wanted to do or even planning to go to the grocery store for some of your favorite cookies, you can't think about the sad things that may be messing with you. 

You get so exited planning things that you actually forget about everything else. At least for a while, but it is something. 

Today with my family we planned to make a trip to LA in two weeks, ti go ti a concert my father wanted to assist, and when we were actually planning everything I found out that while we are in LA, Drake (the rapper) will be giving a concert. How amazing is that! So I'm planning to go. And just thinking about it makes me happy.

See?, it is simple and effective, you just have to try.

Here are the things that I am planning.

1. Exercising more

2. Go to LA with my family

3. Go to the Drake vs. Lil Wayne concert

4. Have a hell of a good time

5. Shopping

6. My father birthday party

7. Date with my friends

8. Extra classes 

9. Making a playlist 

10. Cutting my hair

11. Makeover 

12. Read a new book

13. Work hard in school

14. Watch a new series

15. Take a language course

16. My birthday party 

17. Parties

18. Photo shoots 

19. Working

20. Get my ID

And those are just some, is as easy as making a list because, well, you are making a list but with things you want to do. 

Good luck! 

Xx

Step 1 : Happy list/ Dealing with a broken heart

So it is definitive that your heart is broken and you finally accept it, embraced it and decided you wanted to do something about it... Well me too,  and as hard as I'm thinking it is going to be I'm going to try to get somehow done with it. I am feeling very crushed but today after getting my mind really into it I decided I was going to change that! And here I am trying to find or make myself a program to actually do it. So I think I this first;

You have to feel good to forget how sad you are, and for the first step I thought of doing a list of things that make me happy. 

1. Listening to music really loud

2. Be alone for some time (with #1)

3. Being with my family 

4. Talking to friends about anything 

5. Read funny things 

6. Michelle phan videos (no joke she's the bomb 

7. Watching DIY videos 

8. Sketching 

9. Drawing

10. Watching new movies & series 

11. Reading 

13. Green tea 

14. My pets 

15. Makeup 

16. Life quotes 

17. Exercising 

18. New projects 

19. Internet (really) 

20. Long showers 

Etc...

See, and I think I could have going on and on with the list, it's easy and you just have to think a little and appreciate that you can actually do all that and have a smile in your face, it will not make the pain disappear because let's be honest that is very very hard, but it will certainly make you forget about the sad things for a little while, like sleeping! 

Try it, I will... Hope it works.

Good luck! 

Mothers advice... You will always deserve the best.

After a very good chat with my mom I understood that as much as it hurts to get a fresh start it is good for the body the mind and the soul. It is going to burn like hell in your chest (trust me, I know) but occasionally it will stop hurting. And when you try your hardest and others do not recognize it, it is sometimes okay but there is a limit and if you are not feeling appreciated, but all the opposite you have to leave that environment as soon as you can. Why? Because that same people will bring you down whenever they can, and nobody deserves that not even them. You will feel depressed for some days maybe even weeks because getting used to the idea that everything is changing it is very hard and there is no one rushing you so don't be ashamed or afraid and take as long as you need to feel okay again. At some point you will feel better and when you look back it will all be a memory, maybe a good one or maybe a bad one, that is up to you to decide, but you have to have this clear in your mind; 

 You deserve the best, and even when it all seems bad God has a plan for us and he can take us on rough paths, but as rough as it all can get it is always the right one. Trust him and always remind yourself that your opinion and yourself are the most important things and no one can make that any other way. Love yourself always. 

So if you are depressed or going through a bad time, just remember it all gets better at some point and timing is different for everyone, if you are going through a bad breakup (cough,cough) 

Remember, your mother spend 9 months making your heart, not for someone to break it in a minute. 

We all deserve better. Keep your head up. 

P.S: when you are sad, drink a cup of tea, read a book, have a makeover, listen to music, dance in your room, get out there with friends, have sleepovers or even party's do anything that makes you feel good as new. It is not the end it is the start of something new 

Depressed, even in sleep...

So... lately I've been having this Knot in the middle of my throat and this super random anxiety attacks. this are no good and i think im just keeping so much inside and its not healthy, but i know no other way to live. Like, i would love to go on with my life saying to people faces what I think of them and how I really feel with different situations. Its not easy and i don't think i can do it, I'm what is called a "cold" person, why? i simply don't know but i find it hard talking about personal issues with about anyone, not even my family or what i call some of my closest friends, i just don't think it's worth it to let a person who is really me and see me open like a book, i don't even like whats inside of most of the time so i wonder how could other people who barely know me really understand how i feel when i don't even know myself. it's so complicated and nerve racking. and i just feel like shit. this days are those kind, the kind where you feel like something is very wrong and even if it is about a person or a situation you don't feel like you have an opinion about it or a choice but to suck it up. At least this is the case, and it is jus so frustrating and i'm not kidding when i say i feel like shit inside and so desperate, and confused for not just saying depressed. And what can i do? NOTHING! absolutely nothing but to find ways to distract myself so i don't think about the issue or i just try to convince myself is not there. lately i've been sleeping a lot , because sleeping is nice... well after the terrifying 20 minutes before when you can't think of nothing else but that. but after that comes the nice part where you fall asleep and forget everything for a little while. But i think i have a bigger problem now because today when i tried to sleep to forget about everything i ended up dreaming about the problem instead of forgetting. it was just so painful and the worse part was i couldn't woke up not before i couldn't take it anymore. And since that i haven't been able to forget this thing in my gut and the knot in my throat. it is just depressing.

Curls giving signals

In honor of the title of my blog today I'm gonna talk about how my curls actually predicted the bad day that I had... 

So, girls with curly hair have to struggle way more than other girls. Why? Well...

1. Frizz is all over the place every day

2. Weather is a major problem, (rain, cold, hot...etc) 

3. Brushes are a big deal and to find a perfect one is like heaven

4. Brushing your hair even with the right brush/comb is like hell

5. Curls are never to be tamed (not ever) 

6. We don't get to have short hair (never)

7. Ponytails are difficult to make 

8. Styling them is super hard

9. Cutting your hair is even a harder decision to us 

10. The growth of hair is almost as noticeable as a flea.

And way more reasons, but anyways.

Today I woke up and my hair was all over the place so I had like 20 minutes to be ready before the school bus arrived. I decided to take a shower so it would dry in a prettier way (or so I thought) so once out of the shower I had 10 min so I grabbed whatever I could find and run through the door. So once I was calmed I saw that not even one of my outfit decision was the right one FML. 

I got to school and my hair was a mess my clothes were not something I would have picked if I have had more time. So awful. Then, as I was walking to my class I saw my crush in the most pretty sweater I have ever seen, he looked gorgeous, and I looked like shit. I smile a little to him and hurry to class, I asked permission to go to the bathroom and try to fix something, anything I could, once I was convinced I couldn't do any better I went to class again. At recess for making things worse the bitch that I'm sure likes my crush spend all the recess with him!. So I was looking like shit and then feeling like shit, I was so pissed off. After all that as it wasn't enough I got a major anxiety attack because of my anger and had to leave the class. At the end of the day I knew it was the worst day and it couldn't get any worse. WRONG! I ended up crying to my crush of how angry I was at him and that bitch. He looked at me as if I was crazy and couldn't find anything else to say so he hugged me ( It wasn't all so bad because of the hug, but still it was a pity hug!) 

It was the worst day ever and my hair knew it since I woke up, should have listen to my curls and skipped school today.

Lesson learned! 

HEY

So.. i been trying to make a blog since forever but ended up deleting it or forgetting it, this time i would actually like to have one and keep updating it so im going to try again, I actually don't want to talk or post about anything in specific in this blog, I'm just gonna be myself and post or talk about things that I care or love doing even if it is to myself. So wish me luck on this one and lets knock on wood so I actually end up with a blog by the en of the year (small commitments right?)Check out my Tumblr here:)